The Pathless Path

I love paths--walking on them, taking photos of them, creating them in my garden. I can't resist a path, and often walk farther than I planned to or had energy for, because I am seduced by the path stretching out before me. We typically think of paths as being lines with a starting point and an endpoint, a finish line if you will. We tend to think of our life this way, too.

When it comes to the path of our life, however, this construct often does not serve us well. We tend to measure our progress by how far we have moved on the straight line trajectory from here to there. We can get caught up in being critical of ourselves if we feel we are not moving fast enough, in the correct way, or toward the most productive outcome. This can cause us significant and painful anxiety. I often have clients ask me, "Am I on the right path?" One client described her current life goals, plotted out over the course of the next six months, one year, and five years. She was overwhelmed with a sense of worry that she was not adequately progressing on her carefully outlined path.

What if we think of our path as dipping and diving, rising back up, spherical or meandering sideways?! An energetic path---meaning a path you feel, not a tasky, goal-driven path. A path driven instead by curiosity, a tolerance for rabbit holes and tangents, an openness for sideways hopping, even looping in circles. Kind of like what it feels like to ride a roller coaster: swooping and whooshing, being in the moment, staying present to the ride, rather than eyes focused on the end. We tend to be more joyful in these types of experiences, and feel free, unconstrained, eager to keep going.

The concept of a "pathless path" is often linked to Jiddu Krishnamurti, an Eastern philosopher, who wrote in 1930 that "Truth is a pathless land." This concept suggests that the truth and the lessons of our life's path cannot be discovered through a structured, orderly, organized plan. In contrast, our Western view of moving through our days emphasizes mapping out beginnings and endings with progress accomplished by taking repetitive planned steps.

The "pathless path" concept serves us especially well when we are journeying through a chapter in our lives of self-discovery unfolding within, or are in times of uncertainty and unpredictability, or are trying to be open to being in a state of not knowing. I recently had the experience of riding in a hot air balloon at the hot air balloon festival in Albuquerque, NM. Letting go of expectations of where you will end up helps to better enjoy this amazing experience. The balloon sways and floats on the currents of wind, temperature, and sun. One is never quite certain where the balloon will land. This adds to the delight of the experience.

This way of living is focused on the journey, rather than the destination. To my client who asked me, "Am I on the right path?" I replied, "How do you feel about where you are today? What is your now teaching you? Can you imagine your path not as a linear shape but a shape in which you loop over and around, in and through, and sometimes even pause for a while---maybe even a long while and float?" She thoughtfully replied, "That sounds strange and a bit scary---but maybe wonderful!" We discussed how she could begin to think of living some of her days in this way. We explored how it would feel for her to be in her day with more curiosity and less expectation for accomplishing a prescribed set of tasks, with less judgement and more kindness. More creativity and less routine. More space to go sideways rather than forward.

Might you be willing to explore being on your "path" in this way?